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Not Even A Proxy Site Can Help You Now: Six Idiotic Tech-Related Crimes


People are dumb. It’s a simple statement of fact. One of the best quotes I’ve ever come across is by the late American comedian George Carlin: "Imagine the most average person you possibly can, and realize that half the people in the world are dumber than that guy".

Well these next six stories are about the other half, and what happens when stupid and technology mix.

iPhone’s “Bloodhound” App
The "Bloodhound" App, really? No, it doesn’t exist, but a would-be iPhone thief in Pittsburgh, PA was effortlessly tracked down when authorities used, you guessed it, the onboard GPS in the stolen iPhone. Authorities are so excited by this technology that they are working with Apple on the new ‘iNhouse,’ the fashionable ankle bracelet for the stylish, tech-savvy criminal.

 


My Friend Craig Makes a Great Fence
A Knoxville, TN man has a brass pair, I’ll give him that. He broke into a vacant house and took photos of a furnace. He then went to Craigslist and put the furnace (the one in which he hadn’t even stolen yet) up for sale. When a buyer called and offered to buy it, the man met them at the house, and even helped the buyer load the furnace into a truck. Shame that the truck was owned by the Police, and the buyer was the man who actually owned the furnace. At least we know Craigslist is good for more than casual encounters. You can use the proxies for Craigslist to change your virtual residence.

 


Myspace Updates Aren’t Protected Under the 5th Amendment

Seriously. If you’re going to commit a crime, do not, I repeat DO NOT post that you’re doing it on your myspace page, or your facebook page, or twitter, or skype, or, well, anywhere public. Crimes are illegal. We’re not talking about stealing your roommate’s Cheerios. Victimless crime or not, if you’ve committed an act that is illegal, whether it’s a misdemeanor or a felony, confessing on the internet *still counts as a confession*. There’s a man in Baltimore, MD who learned this the hard way when authorities used his myspace status of “On tha run for robbin a bank Love all of yall.” as evidence against him. This guy is going to make a whole bunch of new friends in the shower.

 

Worse than After the Fact
A 19-year old in West Virginia, thrilled by his escapade, took time off from robbing a house to log into his Facebook page and update his status WHILE HE WAS ROBBING THEIR HOUSE. This would’ve been great, and admittedly hilarious, but the knucklehead forgot to log out of his account, leading the authorities straight to his Farmville site, where they arrested his ugly duckling. How about using a web proxy next at your next treasure hunt?

 

Kids Will Be Dumb
What’s the best way to mourn the death of your friend who tragically died at a party with underage drinkers?

Throw another party with underage drinkers, and send event invites to it over Facebook. That’s exactly what happened in Wrentham, MA. Needless to say the police weren't happy.

 

Million-Dollar Maybe
It’s nice, for once, to see that Americans aren’t the only morons who use the media to get themselves in trouble with the law. An Australian boy filmed and published a video of himself assaulting a Kangaroo. Straight-up Kung Fu Style. The video he posted on Youtube shows him administering a slug to the face, and a knee to the chest of the poor, defenseless animal. The difference between this Aussie and most Americans? The Aussie kid hasn’t been caught yet.